Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Need some critiques.

So I've gotten back to work a bit after not doing a whole lot over the weekend, but I think I need some outside input on this. Any critiques would be most welcome. There's still a fair amount of work that needs to be done, some of it should be obvious (fingers/face, some stuff at the very end, etc.)

New Lip Sync Practice: WIP from Ryan Neff on Vimeo.

I've been staring at this too long, I need ideas from someone else, so leave them below.


  1. Your staging at 1 secondish could be improved. Characters just barely overlap (their shoulders are just barely overlapping/touching). Give more negative space here for more legibility and less visual tension.

    Love the poke on "David" and his reaction.

  2. I think the finger tapping on Dan's face is too even in both it's spacing and timing. Gabe seems a bit off balance through here as well. To make Gabe's brushing his chest less robotic, maybe you could have him do like a brush, then like his hand goes back up and slides down. I know you're trying to play Dan as an over the top character but he seems to be borderline too busy. Maybe you could cut some of it out, particularly where he is looking around. He could probably just hit the first pose and live in that while his eyes dart around. That would give the viewer a break from all the activity but still keep him active. Also, engage Gabe's shoulders more when Dan's shaking him. Everything leading into that is great though. I just think he feels a bit too stiff for being some weak guy who's being tossed around. The overlap on Gabe's head near the end when eh's being shaken seems like it has some nice potential, but it seems a bit odd right now, like things aren't quite overlapping at the right time or something.

  3. Thanks, I'm gonna put those suggestions to work. Some of what John said is just because I haven't gotten to it yet, but the rest is a good help. I'm gonna play with cameras when I'm done, so I'll put in Evan's suggestion there.